Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
“If going to Heaven means dealing with unpredictable weather but going to Hell means having a lively group of friends, I guess I’ll just bring an umbrella and sunscreen to Hell and make the most of it!”

afterlife, choice, climate, company, contrast, heaven, hell, humor, lifestyle, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

0

2 months ago

culture, distraction, effort, head, humor, impossible, memory, mental, mental effort, mission, Mission Impossible, music, password, pop, pop culture, remember, song, theme, theme song, trying
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

0

2 months ago

50, coping, coping mechanism, cursing, humor, mechanism, pain, psychology, relief, self-injury
You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

0

2 months ago

couples, date, food, humor, hunger, hungry, i, know, mean, people, relationship, share, sharing
There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

0

2 months ago

clutter, days, drive, drive by, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, having, house, humor, i, just, life, live, living, never, observation, sale, tell, yard, yard sale
I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

0

6 months ago

big, big hair, car, cars, declaration, feeling, feelings, gesture, hair, i, louder, love, men, miss, nostalgia, over, romantic, romantic gesture
You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

0

2 months ago

compliment, environmental, environmental humor, flirting, hot, humor, joke, microplastic, microplastics, share

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

84 shares on Threads this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Going bananas on Discord:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Trending via Threads:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Trending via Twitch:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Just shared via TikTok:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨