God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.