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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Just shared via Instagram:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Live now on Pinterest:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Spotted on Instagram:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Just landed via Twitch:

They expect me to work at work.

Just shared via Discord:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Going viral on Reddit:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.
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Commentary:
"Good morning to all the early birds out there, flying high while the rest of us dream about hitting the snooze button for the 100th time! 😴🐦 Rise and shine…or just rise and hope for more coffee ☕️ #SleepyHead"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Reported on WeChat:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Reported on Messenger:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Going viral on Telegram:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Making waves on TikTok:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Shared recently on Slack:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

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