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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Trending via Discord:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Breaking via TikTok:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Going viral on TikTok:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

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Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.
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Commentary:
"Google AI: Saving the planet one malfunction at a time! 🌍💥🤖"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

78 shares on Threads this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

60 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts hug you from the inside.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Live now on Twitch:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Shared recently on TikTok:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Trending via Slack:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Spotted on Facebook:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Going bananas on X:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

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