Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Live now on Slack:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Shared recently on X:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Shared recently on Threads:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Going viral on Threads:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Live now on Facebook:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Shared recently on YouTube:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Making waves on TikTok:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Trending via Twitch:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's be real, Gordon Ramsay wouldn't last a second if he tried yelling at us over our cooking. 😂✋ #WorstNightmare"

chef, conversation, gordon, Gordon Ramsay, humor, me, only, ramsay, relationship, sarcasm, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

0

2 months ago

career, career change, change, experience, humor, i, interviewer, job, job search, learn, me, need, new, new job, previous, search, work, work experience
I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

0

2 months ago

dog, give, give up, humor, i, knows, loyalty, much, never, pet, pet humor, too, too much
Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

0

2 months ago

beverage, Christmas, Christmas spirit, coke, drink, fun, holiday, humor, i, mix, neat, oh, question, spirit
The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, body part, changes, day, getting, getting older, humor, i, just, less, life, life changes, older, randomness, surprise
I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, button, computer, convenience, every, humor, i, internet, irony, just, keep, love, me, signed, signed in, straight, website
If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

0

2 months ago

advice, decision, ever, humor, just, me, nostalgia, opposite, reflection, situation, teenage, think, uncomfortable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Facebook this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

22 shares on X this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

97 shares on X this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Just landed via Instagram:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨