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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,912

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Going viral on X:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Trending via WeChat:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why do alarms insist on being so 'alarm'ingly effective? 🌞⏰😂 #StillNotReadyForMonday"

alarm, alive, hate, humor, morning, sleep, still, struggle, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

2 months ago
face, friends, humor, loyalty, metaphor, ocean, octopus, relationships, stay, true, waf
The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

1 month ago
collective, collective noun, egosystem, group, humor, joke, narcissist, noun, personality, wordplay
Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

3 months ago
bag, bottle, experience, inconvenience, leak, leaking, top, water, water bottle, worst, worst experience
Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

1 month ago
animal, animal lovers, attention, cat, cat lady, crow, crow woman, girl, girls, horse, horse girl, humor, humor quote, lady, lovers, quirky, woman, women
Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

1 month ago
adults, attention, away, being, child, childhood, children, drama, dramatic, dynamics, everything, family, family dynamics, getting, humor, middle, middle child, oldest, oldest child, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, still, trying, younger, youngest, youngest child
What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

1 month ago
90, beauty, call, humor, just, makeup, perception, reality, time, wipe

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Trending via Discord:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Seen just now on X:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Just shared via Threads:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Is this art or trash?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

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Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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