Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.