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"Oh, look at you, remembering all your kids! So *fancy* 🙄 Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to keep track of my own head! 🤪 #ParentingSkills"

act, better, bring, children, competition, drop, drop off, hate, humor, judgment, just, me, parent, parenting, parents, school

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

1 month ago
beavis, butthead, humor, ignore, name, shock, shocked, strangeness, wordplay
The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

1 month ago
80s, audacity, music, nostalgia, oldy, parents, playing, station
Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

1 month ago
alone, alone time, bed, comfort, cool, ever, humor, king, king size bed, personal, personal space, relatable, self-care, sex, size, space, time, yourself
I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

1 month ago
cicada, frustration, humor, i, nature, ready, scream, six, six weeks, summer, too, weeks
Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

2 months ago
advice, before, chewing, hard, humor, life, listen, marriage, relationship, rest, someone, sound, sounds, soundtrack
I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

1 month ago
around, character, comedy, Halloween, humor, i, me, need, personality, quirky, round, strange, strange character, year, year round

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Spotted on Slack:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Making waves on Messenger:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

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Activity Log ✨

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

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Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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