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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Just shared via Slack:

I need money, not feelings.

Just landed via Messenger:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Live now on Facebook:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Going viral on X:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Going viral on X:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

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Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it's pretty baa-d and baffling to expect a lamb chorus in a movie about a serial killer with a taste for human flesh. 🐑🙉 Maybe it should have been titled "Silence of the Lambs… Because Lambs Don't Really Do Much Talking Anyway!" 🤣 #HeadScratcher

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Instagram this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

13 shares on Discord this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

54 shares on Discord this month:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Just shared via Discord:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Making waves on Discord:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Trending via YouTube:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Trending via X:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Trending via YouTube:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

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