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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Going viral on Twitch:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Spotted on WeChat:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Just shared via X:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Just shared via Discord:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

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Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it's pretty baa-d and baffling to expect a lamb chorus in a movie about a serial killer with a taste for human flesh. 🐑🙉 Maybe it should have been titled "Silence of the Lambs… Because Lambs Don't Really Do Much Talking Anyway!" 🤣 #HeadScratcher

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on YouTube this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

71 shares on Threads this month:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

43 shares on Threads this month:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating healthy requires a second job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please twerk; I have just days left.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Just landed via TikTok:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Making waves on WeChat:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Making waves on Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Just shared via Discord:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Just shared via LinkedIn:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

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