Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Just landed via YouTube:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Shared recently on Slack:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Making waves on Twitch:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Breaking via X:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, I just became the pothole whisperer! 🚗💔😅

after, apology, car, driving, ever, hit, humor, personification, pothole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad habit, habit, habits, humor, laziness, mother, respect, should
I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

0

2 months ago

advice, am, capable, humor, i, independence, life, need, own, ruining, sarcasm
Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, family, hobby, humor, left, life, management, only, parent, parent life, parenting, responsibility, time, time management, welcome
Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

0

2 months ago

beauty, body, body image, humor, image, inner, inner beauty, light, much, scale, self-reflection, standing, thinking, weight, wisdom
At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

0

2 months ago

activity, appreciation, art, art appreciation, date, else, fun, fun activity, humor, museum, observing, pace, slow, slow pace, walking
Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

0

2 months ago

bananas, caffeine, chaos, energy, going, human, humans, humor, just, meat, stress, wrapped

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Facebook this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

22 shares on X this month:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

53 shares on Threads this month:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

36 shares on Discord this month:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

26 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Making waves on WeChat:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Seen just now on TikTok:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Trending via Messenger:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Going viral on Messenger:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨