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Thinking of becoming the โ€œwhereโ€™s my hugโ€ guy in prison.

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My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

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I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

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Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

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May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

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Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

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Babymaking music but itโ€™s the Benny Hill theme song.

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My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so Iโ€™m naming this chin hair after him.

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I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

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Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprioโ€™s next girlfriend.

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Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Commentary:
๐Ÿš–๐Ÿ’ธ "Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn't matter!" – Sounds like someone is ready to make it rain… with witty remarks and not cash! Keep chasing the weekend vibes without breaking the bank, my friend! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ฐ #FridayFeeling



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