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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Just shared via Reddit:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Making waves on Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Going viral on Discord:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Spotted on Reddit:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Going viral on Reddit:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Going viral on Messenger:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

2 months ago

0

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if only it were that easy! 🤣🏋️‍♂️ Getting a six-pack usually requires a bit more sweat and effort, but hey, maybe try doing 5 sit-ups and see if it works like magic! Just don't be surprised if you end up doing a few more after that. 💪😉

before, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, motivation, say, sit-up, six-pack, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

0

2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, always, clock, complaints, face, humor, morning, perspective, put, relatable, thing, yourself
“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, humor, policy, privacy, privacy policy, sarcasm, technology, tell, update, us, why
You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

0

2 months ago

attraction, bad, desire, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, little, relationship, someone, want
Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

0

2 months ago

family, fool, humor, i, mama, own, raise, responsibility, self-deprecation, turned
Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

0

4 days ago

comparison, ethnicity, girl, girls, humor, just, latina, polish, Polish girl, winter
I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

0

5 months ago

blame, even, ever, fault, having, humor, i, mean, office, problem, proof, right, sarcasm, sensuality, sex, sheer, someone, work, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Discord this month:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Spotted on Reddit:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Live now on Messenger:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

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