Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.
  • Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.
  • Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?
  • Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.
  • Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.
  • I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.