Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when you have receipts aging like fine wine in your purse for 86 years? It's like a mini museum of past purchases and forgotten memories, complete with a touch of whimsical chaos."

humor, memory, money, organization, purse, receipt, shopping, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

0

2 months ago

chronological, chronological order, follow, follower, humor, idea, Instagram, media, only, order, people, post, posts, shows, social, social media, startup
Being alone is my favourite way of being.

0

5 months ago

activity, alone, being, being alone, favorite, favorite activity, favourite, introvert, personal, personal space, self, self time, solitude, space, time
I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

0

6 months ago

exercise, fitness, focus, gym, humor, i, jail, prison, should, workout
If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

0

2 months ago

bike, care, city, DUI, health, humor, means, new, New York City, riding, Tennessee, york
These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

0

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, comparison, cooky, days, family, fight, grandma, humor, i, just, protest, technology, website
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, Dave, humor, microwave, name, poetry, randomness, red, roses, roses are red, sense

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Discord this month:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Just landed via Threads:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Making waves on Threads:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Spotted on Discord:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Live now on Pinterest:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Just landed via Threads:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨