Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Trending via WeChat:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Just landed via Twitch:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Going bananas on Discord:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the aliens heard we're terrible at group projects and decided to skip us! 🛸😂🌍

alien, aliens, always, Earth, humor, i, imagination, vs, war, WWIII

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

0

2 months ago

birth, birth name, change, fact, figure, fun, fun fact, historical, historical figure, humor, irony, malcolm, Malcolm X, name, name change, Twitter, x
Eat like your treadmill is watching.

0

2 months ago

dieting, eat, exercise, fitness, health, humor, motivation, motivation humor, treadmill, watching
I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

0

2 months ago

audiobook, believe, book, entertainment, found, humor, i, listening, literature, me, reading, self-discovery
I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

0

2 months ago

advance, change, changes, control, flexibility, flow, go with the flow, humor, organization, person, personality, planning, schedule, well
Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

0

4 months ago

behavior, curiosity, every, funny behavior, heart, interaction, media, rewatch, social, social media, somebody, story, time
My mirror needs a screenshot button.

0

2 months ago

button, humor, mirror, needs, reflection, screenshot, self-image, technology, vanity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

81 shares on X this month:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

48 shares on Threads this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

85 shares on Threads this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Going viral on Twitch:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Trending via Telegram:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Just landed via X:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨