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Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

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It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

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So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

755 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,917

Funny Quotes Topics

13,887

Funny Quotes Images

10,917

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Just landed via Discord:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Trending via Pinterest:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Spotted on WeChat:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Trending via Threads:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Trending via Snapchat:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Live now on Reddit:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Spotted on Instagram:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Embracing the cattitude! 😼 Even the feline grumps deserve love. Perhaps they were just having a 'purrsonal' bad day! 🐾😹 #CatLover"

am, animals, cat, cats, companionship, even, friend, humor, i, mean, reasons, yes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Going viral on Reddit:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Spotted on Reddit:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Spotted on Instagram:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

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I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

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I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

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