Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,493

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Live now on Threads:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Trending via Messenger:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Just shared via Messenger:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Just shared via WeChat:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Trending via Threads:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Live now on WhatsApp:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Just landed via Telegram:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

I am cassette tape years old.

4 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about feeling vintage and nostalgic, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days of rewinding with a pencil and hoping your mixtape survived the car stereo! 🎶💾 #ThrowbackThursday"

age, am, cassette, cassette tape, childhood, humor, i, nostalgia, old, tape, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

6 days ago

big, celebration, day, dogs, doorbell, excitement, Halloween, lose, love, pets, reaction, rings, shit
If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

2 weeks ago

bitter, bitter end, comfort, dark, dark humor, end, ever, feel, humor, i, knowing, mouth, murder, ran, ran mouth, sarcasm
Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

2 weeks ago

always, anytime, context, conversation, guy, humor, joke, reply, sarcasm, wit
You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

2 days ago

aging, anger, car, frustration, getting, getting old, house, humor, know, mad, neighborhood, old, outside, parked, parking, random
Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

5 days ago

always, doctor, doctors, give, giving, humor, i, ibuprofen, joke, man, me, medicine, pharmacy, prescription, sell, something
Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

2 weeks ago

activity, fun, ghost, haunted, humor, local, reason, woods

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

11 shares on Discord this month:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Freshly posted on X:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Breaking via WeChat:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Shared recently on Threads:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Seen just now on Discord:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Spotted on Discord:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am cassette tape years old.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨