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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Spotted on Reddit:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Making waves on Instagram:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Going viral on YouTube:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

I am cassette tape years old.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days of rewinding with a pencil and hoping your mixtape survived the car stereo! 🎶💾 #ThrowbackThursday"

age, am, cassette, cassette tape, childhood, humor, i, nostalgia, old, tape, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

0

2 months ago

craving, desire, food, having, humor, humor quote, i, joke, sex, tacos, wish
The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

0

2 months ago

home, homeless, humor, i, longer, stay
I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

0

2 months ago

context, humor, jar, open, self-deprecation, strength, strong
Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

0

2 months ago

animal, beaver, comedy, doing, engineering, humor, hydraulic, hydraulic engineering, little, rat
My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

0

2 months ago

animals, companionship, fluffy, humor, paws, pet, therapist, walks
Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

0

2 months ago

comparison, date, empty, excel, full, glass, humor, mindset, optimist, perspective, pessimist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

31 shares on Slack this month:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

97 shares on X this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m addicted to placebos.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Live now on Facebook:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Freshly posted on X:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Trending via WeChat:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Going viral on X:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Spotted on X:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Breaking via Telegram:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am cassette tape years old.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨