Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,837

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Just landed via YouTube:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Shared recently on X:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Making waves on WeChat:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Spotted on WeChat:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Just landed via Facebook:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I always suspected you had a good head on your shoulders! 😅🗡️🤣

actually, charming, dark, dark humor, guillotine, humor, i, let, me, sarcasm, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

0

2 months ago

act, airport, before, behavior, etiquette, humor, know, people, public, should, travel
You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, buying, check, day, good, good day, having, house, humor, reality, reality check, someone
The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

0

2 months ago

after, before, before and after, cleaned, house, humor, lot, money, photos, release, threatening, woman
I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, growth, humor, i, personal, personal growth, self-deprecation, ugly, used
My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

0

2 months ago

apologize, beauty, family, humor, joke, making, me, parents, self-deprecation, still, ugly
Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

0

2 months ago

excuse, family, hang, hang out, humor, i, joke, kid, parenting, sorry, still, think, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Come on, karma, do your job.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

71 shares on Discord this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Breaking via Messenger:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Live now on Telegram:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Going viral on Instagram:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Making waves on Facebook:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Making waves on Reddit:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨