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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Going viral on Telegram:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Going viral on WeChat:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Living la vida taco!

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Trending via Instagram:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Your tax return called; it wants a divorce! 😂💼💔"

cheat, cheating, evasion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, pun, satire, sleeping, tax, tax evasion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

0

2 months ago

behavior, glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, irony, orgy, party, people, social, social behavior, throw
Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

0

2 months ago

commute, health, mental, mental health, money, paid, public, public transport, saved, saving, stress, time, transport, transportation, Uber, using
The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

0

2 months ago

everyone, getting, humor, irony, lightning, mishap, seeing, skeleton, visibility, worst, worst part
Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

0

2 months ago

abandoned, dying, filled, flower, flowers, garden, ghost, ghosts, heart, humor, melancholy
Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

0

2 months ago

allergy, breath, exercise, fitness, heart, humor, i, irony, once, racing, sweating
Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

0

2 months ago

communication, confusion, direct, direct signals, good, humor, i, luck, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationships, sarcasm, signals, time, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

35 shares on Discord this month:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Just shared via Twitch:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Trending via Telegram:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Making waves on X:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Just landed via Slack:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Shared recently on Threads:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨