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Commentary:
"Sorry folks, no Hollywood action hero here! 🎬🚫 I may be a daredevil in my own way, but tripping over my own feet is definitely not part of the script! 😂🎥 #AccidentalStunts"

action, comedy, humor, i, intention, never, own, self, stunt

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

1 month ago

clothes, dirty, dirty clothes, gaming, give, humor, laundromat, laundry, laundry humor, parody, playful, rank, should, XP
Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

1 month ago

attraction, crush, feelings, having, humor, information, just, love, misunderstanding, relationship, someone
I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

4 months ago

attitude, communication, every, honesty, humor, i, love, meant, people, said, sarcasm, statement, truth, word
If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

1 month ago

dinosaur, getting, history, humor, joke, pet, repeat
Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

1 month ago

always, annoyance, annoyed, humor, image, love, Narcissus, own, self-obsession, talk, talking, tried
Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

1 month ago

celebrity, death, environment, humor, Kardashian, kim, Kim Kardashian, plastic, sea

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Seen just now on Telegram:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Shared recently on Threads:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Live now on Facebook:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

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Activity Log ✨

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

God saw you do that.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

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I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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