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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Spotted on Reddit:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Going bananas on X:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Trending via Twitch:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Going bananas on Threads:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Live now on X:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Witty joke on dating etiquette suggesting the first date should be free and on the house.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of who foots the bill on the first date 🤔 Maybe we should just all agree to let the house cover it and avoid the awkward wallet dance 💁‍♂️🏡 Who knew real estate could be such a matchmaker? 😂 #DateNightOnTheHouse"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Discord this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

73 shares on Discord this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Spotted on Threads:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Breaking via Twitch:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Making waves on TikTok:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Trending via Discord:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Trending via YouTube:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

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