Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Shared recently on Discord:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Trending via Pinterest:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Live now on Discord:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Just landed via Messenger:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Going viral on TikTok:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Going viral on X:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of who foots the bill on the first date 🤔 Maybe we should just all agree to let the house cover it and avoid the awkward wallet dance 💁‍♂️🏡 Who knew real estate could be such a matchmaker? 😂 #DateNightOnTheHouse"

advice, date, dating, dating advice, first date, house, humor, i, pay, payment, person, relationship, should, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

95 shares on Discord this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

40 shares on Slack this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Seen just now on Slack:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Just shared via Twitch:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Making waves on Reddit:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Making waves on Discord:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Spotted on X:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Making waves on Facebook:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

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