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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,053

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Going viral on Discord:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Trending via TikTok:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Trending via Threads:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Going bananas on Facebook:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Spotted on Facebook:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Just shared via Slack:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Just shared via Facebook:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

2 months ago

0

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of who foots the bill on the first date 🤔 Maybe we should just all agree to let the house cover it and avoid the awkward wallet dance 💁‍♂️🏡 Who knew real estate could be such a matchmaker? 😂 #DateNightOnTheHouse"

advice, date, dating, dating advice, first date, house, humor, i, pay, payment, person, relationship, should, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

0

2 months ago

call, humor, just, suggestion, wordplay, Zealand
Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

0

2 months ago

allowed, apology, bouncing, coping, frustration, head, humor, leg, restriction, self-deprecating, sorry, wall, walls
Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

0

2 months ago

believe, event, excuse, humor, i, invitation, invited, party, sarcasm, social, social event
Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

0

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, before, development, humor, intelligence, irony, natural, natural intelligence, should, technology
If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

0

2 months ago

always, away, call, calls, couple, ever, just, me, message, missed, need, text, text message
Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

0

2 months ago

comedy, dark, dark comedy, enough, foodie, hannibal, Hannibal Lecter, humor, killer, lecter, scary, serial, serial killer

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

19 shares on Reddit this month:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Breaking via Instagram:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Trending via Discord:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Breaking via Reddit:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Spotted on Snapchat:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

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