Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Live now on Pinterest:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Just landed via Telegram:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Live now on Messenger:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Just shared via WeChat:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Spotted on Twitch:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream: off-grid, but still online! 🌲📶😂

disappearing, dream, escape, humor, i, nature, technology, Wi-Fi, wifi, woods

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

0

5 months ago

adult, adults, affordability, believe, disbelief, economy, history, i, most, period, unaffordable
So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, free, freedom, humor, irony, love, never, people, pet, robot, Roomba, say, technology
Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

0

5 months ago

age, candy, humor, joke, just, old, old age, original, pocket, snack, werther’s, Werther’s Original
At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, breaks, humor, i, life, nap, pee, sleep
The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

0

2 months ago

activity, childhood, fun, fun activity, gap, humor, joke, outdoor, outdoor play, outside, play, playing, playing outside, resume
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

0

2 months ago

am, emotionally, hibernation, i, life, mentally, new, new phase, phase, physically, ready

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

69 shares on X this month:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

75 shares on Threads this month:

Tested positive for being single af

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Making waves on Slack:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Just landed via Discord:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Just shared via X:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Shared recently on Threads:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Shared recently on X:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Going viral on YouTube:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨