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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

51 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Just landed via Instagram:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Trending via TikTok:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Spotted on Discord:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Seen just now on Discord:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Going viral on Twitch:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

6 months ago

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Non-glasses wearers are missing out on that instant upgrade to Ultra High Definition vision! 🤓✨ The satisfaction of cleaning your glasses and instantly seeing the world in crystal clear UHD is truly a privilege reserved for us specs enthusiasts. Sorry, non-glasses wearers, you'll just have to settle for regular HD 😜👓 #GlassesUpgrade"

being, cleaning, feel, glasses, humor, i, joy, know, never, package, perspective, sorry, UHD, upgrade, vision

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

51 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Trending via Telegram:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Spotted on TikTok:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Spotted on YouTube:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Windmill? Big fan.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

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