Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Spotted on TikTok:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Going viral on Twitch:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Live now on Pinterest:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

I have a very active anti-social life.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living my best introverted life! 🛋️😎📚

active, anti-social, humor, i, introvert, life, social, social life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

0

2 months ago

Christmas, drinks, holiday, humor, joke, leave, me, milk, Santa, whiskey
Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

0

2 months ago

best, best friend, cheese, comparison, diamonds, food, friend, friendship, girl, girls, humor, love, never, shredded, shredded cheese, snack
Eat like your treadmill is watching.

0

2 months ago

dieting, eat, exercise, fitness, health, humor, motivation, motivation humor, treadmill, watching
You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, earbud, humor, just, loss, never, nostalgia, own, ownership, relationship, technology, time, together
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

0

4 weeks ago

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay
Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

0

2 months ago

bad, beautiful, cyberbullying, digital, digital life, good, humor, interaction, life, media, nothing, online, online interaction, scrolling, self-esteem, social, social media, take, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Spotted on Messenger:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Live now on Threads:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Spotted on YouTube:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Breaking via Discord:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Just landed via YouTube:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Just shared via Discord:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a very active anti-social life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨