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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sane is boring.

Trending via Facebook:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Shared recently on Threads:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Trending via Threads:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Going bananas on WeChat:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Goodbye, ex! 🔥 No need to rekindle old flames when you're a whole bonfire on your own. See you on the flip side! 👋😎 #MovingOn"

anything, desire, goodbye, i, never, rekindle, relationship, see you

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, Monday, motivation, over, relatable, sarcasm, weekday, workweek
One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

0

4 weeks ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, drink, humor, kettle, let, main, me, phrase, put, reasons, say, stuff, tea
I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

0

2 months ago

again, body, body image, finding, found, humor, image, just, pants, self-acceptance, tight, wide
I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

0

2 months ago

body, body crack, body joke, chiropractor, crack, glow, glow stick, humor, i, joke, playful, relaxation, relief, stick, stress, stress relief, want
I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, i, irony, life, money, still, think, thought, used, value
Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bed, bed rot, chill, chill time, comfort, dating, day, doing, doing nothing, favorite, hiking, introvert, just, lazy, lazy day, looking, no adventure, nothing, relaxation, rot, someone, thing, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on X this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

94 shares on X this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Trending via Snapchat:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨