Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Spreading quickly via X:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Breaking via Instagram:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Just landed via Reddit:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Just shared via Threads:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Live now on Pinterest:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Spotted on Twitch:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Those kids are playing with fire; they're about to learn what a real life ninja mom can do! 😂🥷🔥

childhood, commando, family, give, hear, humor, i, know, memory, mom, parent, prime, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, siblings, speechless, young, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, country, cross, cross country, dating, existed, fun, fun activity, high-speed, high-speed rail, lovers, opportunity, rail, relationships, think, transportation, travel
The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

0

2 months ago

big, council, eyes, front, garden, humor, mouth, mustache, pothole, should, something, soul, Windows
Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dumb, humble, humor, intelligence, interaction, people, personality, play, play dumb, psychology, reveal, self-awareness, smarter, social, social interaction, stay, think, truly
Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

0

2 months ago

activity, cancellation, delight, humor, others, plans, rain, upset, upsetting, weather
I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

conservation, dicaprio, environment, future, future generation, generation, generations, girlfriend, humor, i, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, relationship, save, trying
“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, honesty, humor, i, know, liar, lie, maybe, sarcasm, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Going viral on Facebook:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Trending via Twitch:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Spotted on Messenger:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨