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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I donโ€™t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Reported on Discord:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Spotted on Twitch:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just shared via Discord:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Iโ€™m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Going viral on X:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Going viral on YouTube:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Just shared via WeChat:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.
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Commentary:
When you argue with yourself and still lose the debate ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ญ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Iโ€™m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90โ€™s.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Oh right, like youโ€™ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is โ€œweโ€™re tiny, weโ€™re toony, weโ€™re all a little loonyโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

My husband has entered the โ€œfun socksโ€ years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Itโ€™s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Going viral on Messenger:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Just shared via X:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Live now on Reddit:

Once again, I have fallen for lifeโ€™s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes donโ€™t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Just landed via Telegram:

We can put a man on the moon but we canโ€™t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Just shared via Reddit:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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