Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Live now on Threads:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Spotted on Pinterest:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Just landed via Discord:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Spotted on Instagram:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Shared recently on Facebook:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Trending via Pinterest:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Warming up my day with mystery undies! 🔥🩲🔍😂

around, clothing, cozy, cozy clothing, dryer, fresh, fun, funny habit, game, guess, guessing, guessing game, habit, humor, i, laundromat, laundry, love, plus, putting, underwear, warm, warm underwear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, body, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, perspective, same, self-deprecation
Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

days, every, humor, Monday, procrastination, Saturday, time, tomorrow, weekend, workweek
Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

0

2 months ago

cheating, favorite, feeling, girlfriend, heartache, humor, love, loyal, loyalty, relationship, trust, world, worst
Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, every, eyes, funny man, humor, man, relationship, rolls, rolls eyes, wit, woman
I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

0

2 months ago

house, humor, i, introvert, leaving, people, preference, relationship, social, treat, treated, want
My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

0

3 weeks ago

answer, dinner, family, going, happy, humor, kid, kids, know, mealtime, parenting, question, sarcasm, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

65 shares on YouTube this month:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Spotted on Twitch:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨