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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Spotted on Telegram:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Making waves on YouTube:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Just landed via Threads:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Making waves on X:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Shared recently on Slack:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

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I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.
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Commentary:
"At least chaos is on brand for both me and the universe! 🤪🔬✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on X this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

37 shares on X this month:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Just shared via WeChat:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Making waves on Facebook:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Going viral on TikTok:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Shared recently on YouTube:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

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