Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,817

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Going bananas on X:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Going viral on Slack:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Just landed via Facebook:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Behind every perfect photo is a pile of laundry and a million sticky notes reminding me that adulthood is a contact sport 🧺📸😂

camera, chaos, frame, humor, humor quote, i, joke, life, mess, only, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

0

2 months ago

commitment, commitment issue, dating, humor, issue, issues, love, low, oh, relationship, sarcasm, self-worth, situationship
Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

0

2 months ago

boy, crush, dating, flirt, humor, humor quote, i, joke, playful, romantic, scenario, think
Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, meth, people, simple, teeth
About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

0

2 months ago

activity, enjoy, film, first time, fun, fun activity, i, movie, Tenet, time, watch
No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

0

2 months ago

archived, archived chat, chat, communication, conversation, dark, dark humor, digital, digital life, humor, life, media, online, online communication, place, social, social media, texting, WhatsApp, world
My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

0

2 months ago

Discman, exercise, humor, nostalgia, past, running, shake, slow, speed, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

62 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Making waves on Reddit:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Making waves on Reddit:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Live now on Threads:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Live now on YouTube:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Just shared via TikTok:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨