Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Live now on Threads:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Going viral on Facebook:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about missing carefree days when dinner worries didn't exist.

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Commentary:
When "What's for dinner?" becomes your problem, suddenly cereal at 9 PM feels like a gourmet decision 🍽️🤣🥣

cooking, days, dinner, i, meal, meal planning, miss, nostalgia, parenthood, planning, problem, responsibility

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21 shares on Slack this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

66 shares on Telegram this month:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Just shared via YouTube:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Making waves on Twitch:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨