Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

427 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,696

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,696

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Spreading quickly via X:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Making waves on Facebook:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Just landed via Reddit:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Just shared via Facebook:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

23 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When "What's for dinner?" becomes your problem, suddenly cereal at 9 PM feels like a gourmet decision 🍽️🤣🥣

cooking, days, dinner, i, meal, meal planning, miss, nostalgia, parenthood, planning, problem, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

2 months ago

fireplace, humor, irony, lazy, naming, never, person, procrastination
My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

2 months ago

cat, eats, finicky, humor, i, order, pet, pet humor, taught, Uber, Uber Eats
Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

2 months ago

alert, date, expiration, expiration date, food, humor, jokes, spoiler, spoiler alert
Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

3 months ago

1900s, 25, 25 year old, age, age gap, conversation, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, me, old, patience, patient, please, year
They should invent crushes that like you back.

2 months ago

back, cru, crush, dating, humor, invent, invention, love, relationship, should, unrequited, unrequited love
My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

2 months ago

asked, bags, day, family, family joke, humor, humorist, i, joke, lock, locks, me, mother’s, Mother’s Day, packing, prank, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

55 shares on Threads this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

73 shares on X this month:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

52 shares on Slack this month:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Going viral on X:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Making waves on YouTube:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

They should invent crushes that like you back.

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨