I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.