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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Making waves on Messenger:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Making waves on YouTube:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Live now on Facebook:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Spotted on Telegram:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Live now on Threads:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

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I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the simpler times when all my life goals could fit in a Happy Meal box 🍟🍔🎁

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

39 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hold on, let me overthink this.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Breaking via WeChat:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Trending via WeChat:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Live now on Threads:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

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