Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.
  • You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.
  • I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.
  • I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.
  • Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
  • Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.