Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Freshly posted on X:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Trending via Messenger:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Trending via TikTok:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Just landed via Slack:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Trending via YouTube:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

2 months ago

0

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, talk about keeping the family drama alive from beyond the grave! 👻💬 It's like a never-ending Thanksgiving dinner, but with spirits instead of stuffing. Who knew that feuding with your ancestors could be a timeless tradition? 🔮😂

arguing, conflict, dead, dead relative, family, fun, humor, i, keep, psychic, relationship, relative

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

0

2 months ago

awake, being, experience, feeling, humor, surgery, year
Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

0

2 months ago

afford, affordability, dream, dream house, estate, every, house, humor, irony, perspective, real, real estate, wishes
The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

0

2 months ago

ad, ads, advertisement, dumb, dumbest, frustration, humor, moron, sarcasm, thing, think, YouTube, YouTube ad
There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

0

2 months ago

actually, doing, expertise, grocery, grocery store, humor, joking, know, needs, people, sarcasm, shopping, store
I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

0

2 months ago

delivery, food, guy, humor, i, never, pizza, priorities, sit, waiting
People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

0

2 months ago

comparison, humor, life, losers, lottery, most, odds, people, tickets

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

95 shares on Threads this month:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

50 shares on X this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

85 shares on Slack this month:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

73 shares on X this month:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

31 shares on Instagram this month:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Going viral on Slack:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Freshly posted on X:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Just landed via YouTube:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Going viral on Reddit:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴