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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Just landed via YouTube:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Spotted on Twitch:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Going viral on Facebook:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Going viral on WeChat:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Breaking via Threads:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Going viral on Discord:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when popping into Lidl felt like committing treason! 🛒😂🔍

Aldi, Britain, economy, embarrassed, humor, i, Lidl, nostalgia, remember, rich, shopping, supermarket, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

0

3 months ago

born, customer, customer service, hate, humor, irony, job, people, sarcasm, service
Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

0

2 months ago

advice, asking, custom, humor, professionalism, raise, remember, sober, workplace
I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

0

2 months ago

bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotion, health, humor, joke, jokes, later, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, self-awareness, situation, three
Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

0

2 weeks ago

baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay
Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

0

5 months ago

digestion, even, gut, handle, humor, milk, thing, trust
Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

0

2 months ago

age, AI, being, digital, digital age, gap, generational, generational gap, having, humor, internet, irony, parents, technology, tell, thanks, told, trust, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

72 shares on Threads this month:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

37 shares on X this month:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Broadcasted on Threads:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Trending via Telegram:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Just shared via WeChat:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Just landed via Instagram:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Just landed via Facebook:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨