Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Making waves on Telegram:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Going viral on Twitch:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Trending via Reddit:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Spotted on TikTok:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Just shared via Reddit:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when it was just Pinocchio's resume getting updated! 😂🤥📜

disinformation, humor, i, irony, joke, lie, politics, remember, satire, truth, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

0

2 months ago

comparison, disappointment, expectations, funny comparison, humor, incense, incense stick, just, sparkler, stick
Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, appreciation, arrange, die, friend, funeral, humor, i, joke, message, phone, prank, text
Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

0

2 months ago

call, culture, humor, joke, K-pop, language, music, pun, Seoul
Everyone is awful in their own special way.

0

2 months ago

awful, everyone, flaws, humor, individuality, own, special, uniqueness
I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, growth, humor, i, personal, personal growth, self-deprecation, ugly, used
I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

0

5 months ago

distraction, falling, falling in love, having, hobby, humor, i, love, recommend, recommendation, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

76 shares on Discord this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Seen just now on YouTube:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Just shared via Instagram:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Trending via Instagram:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨