I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

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In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

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They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

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When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

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That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

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Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

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In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.