Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Going viral on Discord:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Happy new fear!

Shared recently on Slack:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Just shared via X:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Breaking via Messenger:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Taking the road less traveled to avoid awkward encounters: a masterclass in social navigation! 🚶‍♂️🌿 Better pack some snacks, because this journey might just become a solo picnic. Who needs a map when you have pure determination to dodge small talk?"

along, encounter, hope, hoping, humor, i, isolation, journey, know, less, road, run, social, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

35 shares on X this month:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

84 shares on Discord this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Trending via Slack:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Going viral on Slack:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Trending via Reddit:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Trending via TikTok:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Spotted on Threads:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Just landed via Reddit:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

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