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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,855

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Making waves on Telegram:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Just shared via Slack:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Just shared via Discord:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Spotted on Slack:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Just landed via Slack:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

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I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.
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Commentary:
"Taking the road less traveled to avoid awkward encounters: a masterclass in social navigation! 🚶‍♂️🌿 Better pack some snacks, because this journey might just become a solo picnic. Who needs a map when you have pure determination to dodge small talk?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

55 shares on Slack this month:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,750

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Going bananas on Reddit:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Just shared via Telegram:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Spotted on Telegram:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Spotted on Messenger:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Making waves on Messenger:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

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