Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, blame it on the stars, not the folks who gave you life! 🌟✨ Looks like Mercury retrograde gets more airtime than family drama these days! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #CosmicExcuses"

again, astrology, bad, bad things, blame, fact, grown, grown up, humor, i, just, me, Mercury, parents, problems, retrograde, self-awareness, terms, things, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, AI, AI response, being, ChatGPT, conversation, dumb, dumb person, dumbest, humor, know, person, response, right, sarcasm, told
Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

0

2 months ago

ambition, ambitious, daughter, day, delusional, every, family, humor, lottery, needs, struggles, winning
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

0

3 months ago

access, app, authentication, Authenticator, download, ever, every, girl, i, job, little, microsoft, Microsoft Authenticator, necessary, never, personal, phone, platform, professional, professional platform, security, wanted, work
Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

0

1 month ago

brother, conversation, dinner, dinner conversation, family, family gathering, gathering, holiday, humor, issue, issues, me, nicely, pair, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, unresolved, unresolved issue, wine
DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, driving, DUI, humor, i, joke, responsibility, safety, Uber
The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

0

2 months ago

acne, body, emotion, enjoy, health, here, human, human body, humor, incredible, oh, sad, sadness, skin, stress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on X this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Spotted on Telegram:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Going viral on WeChat:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Just shared via WeChat:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Spotted on Reddit:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨