Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, blame it on the stars, not the folks who gave you life! 🌟✨ Looks like Mercury retrograde gets more airtime than family drama these days! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 #CosmicExcuses"

again, astrology, bad, bad things, blame, fact, grown, grown up, humor, i, just, me, Mercury, parents, problems, retrograde, self-awareness, terms, things, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Spotted on YouTube:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Going viral on Twitch:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Just landed via Discord:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Trending via Twitch:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Live now on Pinterest:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨