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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Spotted on X:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Breaking via YouTube:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect time for my daily existential crisis! 🌌🤔✨

abyss, adventure, around, evening, exploring, humor, i, routine, start, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

0

2 months ago

6, am, broke, daily, daily life, day, dizziness, eating, finances, financial, financial struggle, humor, hunger, life, money, poverty, struggle, whole
Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

0

2 months ago

abyss, anxiety, awkwardness, break, existential, humor, meetings, office, social, social anxiety, stares, work
Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

0

2 months ago

demon, everyone, got, hair, humor, joke, OMG, once, possessed, possession, prank, something, supernatural, transformation
Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

0

4 weeks ago

apart, begin, clothing, comfort, fall, falling, falling apart, favorite, humor, nothing, preparation, relatability, sweatpant, sweatpants
Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

0

2 months ago

am, hate, humor, hurt, i, irony, me, men, relationship, sarcasm, true, victim, yes
I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

0

2 months ago

black, exercise, fashion, fitness, humor, i, joke, slimming, style, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Telegram this month:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

34 shares on Threads this month:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Making waves on Discord:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Seen just now on Slack:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Making waves on WeChat:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Making waves on Twitch:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Just shared via X:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Trending via Reddit:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨