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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Making waves on YouTube:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Just shared via Slack:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Live now on Facebook:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Spotted on X:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Making waves on Discord:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

2 months ago

0

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine the disappointment at family gatherings when they expected medical advice but got dad jokes instead… 😂 Who needs a stethoscope when you've got punchlines, right? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe laughter is the best medicine after all! 😆"

career, career choice, choice, comedian, disappointment, humor, i, medical, medical school, meet, parents, person, school, stand-up, stand-up comedian, super

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

0

2 months ago

beverage, branding, cute, exactly, girls, humor, inventor, inventors, lemonade, pink, pink lemonade, playful, same, yes
We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

0

2 months ago

appearance, feeling, humor, learn, learning, looks, need, podcaster, reaction, surprise, weird, weird feeling, word
Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

0

2 months ago

19s, 19S Plus Pro, China, Covid, humor, imagine, joke, pandemic, plus, pro, satire, survival
I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

0

2 months ago

again, doing, growth, hard, humor, i, introspection, myself, personal, personal growth, sarcasm, self-awareness, self-reflection, taken
If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

0

2 months ago

actually, doing, financial, humor, irony, joke, market, perspective, phone, stock, stock market, turn, upside, upside down, well
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, contrast, cool, cucumber, emotions, humor, inside, squirrel, surface, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

50 shares on X this month:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Farting, but with eye contact.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Spotted on Discord:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Trending via Twitch:

Coffee is just goth water.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Trending via Threads:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Seen just now on Slack:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Trending via Twitch:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Making waves on Threads:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

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