Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?
  • Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.
  • Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.
  • I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.
  • You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.
  • My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.