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Ah, the classic dilemma of wanting serenity but being stuck with a chatty brain 🧠💬. It's like trying to negotiate a peace treaty between your eyelids and your thoughts! 😅 Maybe your brain just needs a lullaby or a good pun to finally shut up and let you catch some Z's. 😴✨

brain, exhaustion, humor, i, insomnia, self-talk, sleep, stop, talking, thoughts, want

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Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

1 month ago
activity, board, call, calls, fun, funny activity, ghost, ghosts, humor, ouija, Ouija Board, paranormal, paranormal humor, phone, phone call, spooky, spooky fun, unannounced, unannounced call
So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

1 month ago
excel, feel, humor, i, irony, joke, office, once, productivity, spreadsheet, work
It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

1 month ago
40, after, age, car, event, getting, getting out, humor, mobility, physical, physical event, sports, sports car
Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

1 month ago
exhaustion, forward, hours, humor, irony, looking, looking forward, night, sleep, tonight, trying
When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

2 weeks ago
bedtime, fear, humor, i, night, past, scared, sleep
Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

2 months ago
describing, episode, humor, kid, life, listening, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, perspective, short, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Live now on Threads:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Shared recently on Instagram:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Just shared via Facebook:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Trending via Pinterest:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

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Activity Log ✨

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

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I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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