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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Seen just now on X:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Breaking via X:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Shared recently on Facebook:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like this person comes with a built-in family plan! 🤣 Who knew gender could be so versatile? 👪💁‍♂️#IdentityCrisis"

born, boy, family, humor, i, identify, identity, packaging

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

0

2 months ago

believe, difference, everything, Facebook, generational, generational difference, humor, internet, irony, media, parent, parents, social, social media, trust
Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

0

2 months ago

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, drama, extinct, humor, imagine, just, simplicity, work
Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, girl, girls, hate, humor, i, man, relationship, sex
Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

0

2 months ago

dating, found, humor, maybe, reason, romance, sarcasm, soul, soulmate, wit
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, life, misunderstanding, prison, relationship, rest, sarcasm, understanding, want, witty
“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

0

2 months ago

girl, health, humor, i, iron, low, low iron, self-advocacy, stand, stand-up, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

32 shares on Slack this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Trending via Discord:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Shared recently on Slack:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨