Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.
  • My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
  • When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”
  • You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.
  • Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.
  • There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.