Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Spotted on Slack:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Just shared via YouTube:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Live now on Threads:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Going viral on Twitch:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hopefully, they're all winning the lottery and taking naps! 🤑😴✨

alternate, alternate dimension, curiosity, dimension, humor, i, parallel, parallel universe, self, universe, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

0

2 months ago

90, doctor, eye, eye doctor, eyesight, health, humor, joke, right, test, vision, vision test
I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

0

2 months ago

account, beginning, fresh, fresh start, humor, i, life, mess, mess up, mistakes, new, new beginning, restart, start
Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

0

2 months ago

activity, awkward, cowgirl, date, dating, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl
Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

0

3 months ago

being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain
Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, irony, lighthearted, little, paper, parody, question, quirk, trying
Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

0

2 months ago

end, harsh, humor, let, lighthearted, lol, me, put, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Threads this month:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

60 shares on Slack this month:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

59 shares on X this month:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

66 shares on Messenger this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Just shared via Pinterest:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Spotted on TikTok:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨