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If youโ€™re not easily offended, why are you even online?

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Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

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Life begins when you can afford it.

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Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

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You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

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Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

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If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they wonโ€™t find me.

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Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

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Ribbed condoms donโ€™t even taste like ribs.

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I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

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I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

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When you find the unsubscribe button for adulting, let me know! I'm ready for a permanent vacation. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ›Œ๐Ÿ™Œ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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