Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Making waves on Twitch:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Live now on Twitch:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Live now on Discord:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Making waves on Twitch:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Making waves on Twitch:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is your microwave stuck in a time warp? Don't worry, I'll be your time-traveling hero! ⏰👨‍🚀🌌

appliance, clock, humor, i, joke, microwave, reset

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

0

2 months ago

always, Anglo, answer, contacts, electric, humor, i, just, landlord, Mike, name, names, phone, phone contacts, phones, realization, surname
This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

0

2 months ago

advent, advent calendar, calendar, cheer, different, gift, gift idea, holiday, holiday cheer, humor, ID, idea, list, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, tranquilizer, wish, wish list, year
This year, the feliz is not navidading.

0

1 week ago

Christmas, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, phrase, season, Spanish, Spanish phrase, wordplay, year
Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

0

16 hours ago

cigarette, cigarettes, flirt, girl, humor, i, joke, line, pickup, pickup line
This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

0

2 months ago

blend, fun, having, life, losing, me, mind, perfect, time, year
“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

0

2 months ago

attitude, evil, getting, God, humor, just, mood, period, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

18 shares on Discord this month:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

31 shares on X this month:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Going viral on YouTube:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Making waves on Threads:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Breaking via Snapchat:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Trending via Threads:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨