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Commentary:
"I swear, officer, it was self-defense! That pesky printer was just asking for it with its constant paper jams and ink cartridge tantrums! 🔪🖨️💢 #PrintersGoneWild"

crime, ever, frustration, humor, i, jail, murder, printer, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

0

5 months ago

conversation, humor, interaction, interview, job, job interview, liar, social, social interaction, workplace
People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

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2 months ago

act, care, humor, i, indifference, people, personality, sarcasm, say
For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

0

2 months ago

booby, case, children, home, i, leave, reasons, recommend, security, set
I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

0

2 months ago

confidence, everything, humor, husband, i, just, minutes, perspective, procrastination, relationship, time, wish
When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

0

4 weeks ago

common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words
Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

0

2 months ago

arguing, backup, backup dancer, being, dancer, entertainment, humor, interaction, likes, little, love, media, observation, people, posts, social, social media, tragedy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Messenger this month:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

16 shares on X this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

92 shares on Slack this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

57 shares on Discord this month:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Just landed via Telegram:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Spotted on WeChat:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Breaking via Threads:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Going viral on X:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨