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Commentary:
"Seems like E.T. missed out on a slam dunk opportunity there! 🏀👽 Just imagine the out-of-this-world alley-oops he could've pulled off! 🌌🤣 #BasketballBuddy"

alien, basketball, E.T., ET, found, humor, i, jump, jump shot, shot, sports

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

1 week ago
Christmas, Christmas light, holiday, hours, humor, just, light, lights, me, OnlyFans, untangling
I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

1 month ago
character, empathy, Futurama, humor, i, mean, sad, show, TV, TV Show, whenever, Zoidberg
There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

1 month ago
dark, dark humor, hell, humor, insult, joke, me, next, people, place, playful, playful insult, sarcasm, special, teasing, witty
I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

1 month ago
fighter, food, humor, lover, relationship, snack, snacker
When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

1 month ago
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Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

1 month ago
advice, comments, humor, i, just, media, post, social, social media, therapist

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Spotted on Messenger:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

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Activity Log ✨

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

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If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

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