Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Live now on Telegram:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Trending via Twitch:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Breaking via Pinterest:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Making waves on Reddit:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs vision when you have such a fabulous look? 😎 Say goodbye to 20/20 and hello to 100/100 in style! 👓 #BlindButFabulous"

being, confidence, glasses, humor, i, self-image, sexy, time, vision

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

2 months ago

attractive, comparison, confidence, humor, perception, self-esteem
If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

3 months ago

humor, me, percentage, personality, self-deprecation, water
Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

2 months ago

analogy, asking, data, humor, restaurant, server, specials, tech, waiter
The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

6 months ago

barrier, Finland, humor, job, language, language barrier, me, moving, only, relocation, thing
I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

2 months ago

confidence, different, humor, just, levels, never, perspective, right, self-assurance, wrong
I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

2 months ago

beautiful, benefit, boat, friend, friends, friendship, fun, home, homes, i, leisure, looking, luxury, mean, pool, pools, summer, vacation, vacation home

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

79 shares on Discord this month:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Just landed via WeChat:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Shared recently on Slack:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Going viral on YouTube:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Live now on Reddit:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Going viral on Instagram:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨