If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.